Broken Air Pump

Story Highlights
  • Just put the hose back when you're done using the pump!

Hey Uncle Tuck, here, and man this rant right here… UGH. I just want to know what kind of sorry-ass individual you must be to break a free air pump. It NEVER FUCKING FAILS, when I need to put air in my tire. And I swing by a WAWA or Royal Farms. The fucking pump is broken! And it’s always the free air pumps. Never the ones at the gas station where it costs you like $2.00 for like 5 minutes. Those fuckers always seem to work (well in most cases).

But the free pumps those mother fuckers be broken most of the time. And in most cases, it’s because some asshat didn’t put the hose back. And either they or another fucker drives over it and smashes the nozzle. And since they’re free it’s never repaired expediently.

So, to the assholes who use the pump but NEVER put the hose back… I curse you with frequent kidney stones you lazy fucker.

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Urban Superhero Tuck is an avid cartoon, horror, sci-fi and whiskey aficionado. Most likely to be found at pubs, speakeasies and live music venues. He's also known for his ninja-like skills when arriving/leaving events or gatherings as many can't say they saw him arrive/leave.

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